What If We've Forgotten Our Magic?
Every year many of us cozy up to watch heartwarming holiday movies, and we smile when inevitably one of the characters starts believing in Santa again or reconnects with the Christmas spirit in some other way. We don’t necessarily walk away feeling changed ourselves, but it’s a nice sentiment that the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes and he got to carve the roast beast and all that.
Lately I’ve been wondering if there’s some underlying truth to these movies that some of us have missed out on. I’m not trying to talk you into believing in Kris Kringle per se, but what I’m about to propose may seem just as radical as that.
What if each of us has some… magic, for lack of a better word? Magic we’ve forgotten about, magic that we believed in as kids but that got buried deep inside as we grew older?
Basically, what I’m saying is what if the bell (a la The Polar Express) has never gone silent, we’ve just stopped knowing how to hear it?
I mentioned in a recent post that I was on a new adventure lately, and I’m going to expound on it here.
I’ve been dabbling in deliberate creation, the belief that each of us is actually in full control of our life experience whether we acknowledge it or not. It’s been interesting so far because on one hand, the information really resonates with me - but on the other hand, it’s been a complete mind fuck and I’ve struggled to fully commit to it. To be perfectly honest, yes, there’s a lot of personal responsibility that comes with this belief, but also it has almost felt too good to be true at times, and I suppose I’ve been afraid of being… too gullible?
The thing is, with all I’ve learned and personally experienced so far, I don’t think I could ever “go back” to living life the way I did before. That said, I have unwittingly hung on to some bad habits, held tight to some resistance. Now I want to know what my life would be like if I fully committed to being a deliberate creator. Thus begins my experiment.
I figure there’s plenty of science to back up just how strong the human mind is, and also, even if a person doesn’t believe in the law of attraction, I think it’s fair to say that everything I’m planning to implement is good for me- so what do I have to lose?
Half my personality, that's what I have to lose, ha. I mean, I’ve built my current career on being pretty negative and I spend a great deal of time complaining and venting, so really, you’re all quite lucky that I’m willing to do it and test it out for you…
All right, all right. I’ll quit stalling.
Without further ado, here are the things I’m committing to for the next 6 months (and possibly for the rest of my life, who knows, no big deal):
-I will meditate every day, preferably in the morning before the day gets away from me, for a minimum of 15-20 minutes. ( I genuinely enjoy this part. I credit it with healing a lot of my anxiety and perfectionism issues already.)
-I will actively practice gratitude and appreciation, and I get bonus points if I write down things I’m grateful for in my journal or in a message to someone.
-I will pay attention to how I feel and use the emotional guidance scale (more on this later). I will not beat myself up for feeling any negative emotion. I will simply allow the feeling to exist and allow it to pass. I will reach for a thought that feels just a little bit better instead of focusing too much on the negative feeling, which only causes it to grow worse.
If I’m feeling too overwhelmed by a negative feeling, I will take a nap or meditate or find a fun distraction such as a good book or TV show or a walk in nature or online window shopping to help me snap out of my misery ( as opposed to my past habit of throwing an enthusiastic well-decorated pity party and inviting several people to attend it).
-In the same way, I will pay attention and savor all the moments that I feel genuinely happy. I will stop second-guessing myself and my good ideas and creative inspiration, knowing that if I’m feeling joyful I must be in alignment with my inner being. I will remind myself that life is meant to be enjoyed, and I’ll focus on exactly that, instead of being afraid and bracing myself for “the other shoe” to drop - which in the past has only served to make it rain shoes.
-Here comes the “hard part” ha, the biggest bad habit for me to break. I will no longer complain or vent. Not in the form of talking or blogging or writing in my journal or even reciting it in my own head. This, of course, should not be confused with suppressing negative feelings or being in denial. It’s more about dealing with a situation - truly facing it - and moving on without milking it and dragging it out or bitching about it to everyone under the sun.
-On a similar note, I will try my best not to engage with others who are being negative. This is tricky, because I strive to be an empathetic witness and I never want someone who is talking to me to think I don’t care about their feelings or experiences.
My goal is to simply not add to the negative energy, so I’m hoping to remain silent or keep my answers short, possibly point out the good in the situation (without being that annoying overly positive person) or change the topic. Ideally, if you keep yourself at a high vibration, then you would eventually keep yourself out of those conversations in the first place, but that’s a topic for another blog post.
In general, I think there’s always a way to phrase things in a more helpful, good energy way. For example, I could check in with a friend by sending a message that says “Thinking about you and sending good vibes your way. I’m so glad you’re recovering from your injury!” instead of texting something like, “This sucks so bad. I hope you aren’t out for work too long, that would be terrible. You must be bored and in so much pain.”
-I will actively choose to see the positive traits in others. Theoretically this should cause these traits to naturally be more active in those people when they’re around me - or it will make the people go away, ha!
On a very seriousness note, this is particularly important to me and for the people I live with - my husband and my kids. Instead of constantly stressing over the things they do that drive me crazy, the idea is to turn my attention to the things they’re doing right.
This can seem difficult at times, but I think it’s so crucial. Too many kids are raised with having their flaws constantly pointed out and not being praised enough to offset it. That’s how I felt in my childhood, and I think that’s probably where my perfectionism started.
Most marriages seem to have the same issue.
I’m not even saying I can’t correct “bad” behavior. The goal is simply to stop seething over the things I don’t like and to be more vocal and appreciative of the things I do appreciate.
-In whatever area of my life I’m currently seeking to improve (health, finances, relationships, creativity, etc) I will spend 68 consecutive seconds a day focusing on positive thoughts in that area.
These are affirmations, basically, but they have to be genuine. I have to actually feel positive emotion as I think them. (For example, thinking something like “I’m a billionaire” might ring false for me and not feel good but something like “Money-wise, everything always works out one way or another, maybe one day I could even be a millionaire” feels more genuine and hopeful for me personally etc)
-With everything I can, I will ask myself, “how can I make this more fun?” And then I will try to do exactly that. I will no longer do things out of obligation. I do things because I feel truly inspired to do so, because I can find a positive way to look at it, or I don’t do it at all. The end.
-I will do my best to fall asleep on a positive note, which makes it easier to wake up in a good headspace. My goal is to wake up every morning with a simple mantra: Today will be a good day. Things are always working out for me.
-I will be nice to myself. I will be more self-ish.
Okay, so all of that seems like a lot, right? It is. But also, it isn’t. Most of those things are tied very closely together. Plus, I’ve already been trying to implement most of them for the last year. It’s not like I’m trying to change my whole life overnight. I’m just putting it all down in writing and committing to it more wholeheartedly. Pretty excited to see what happens!